Yesterday in our small group at church we discussed the sin of self-regard. I must admit that this is a sin that I have always struggled to shake. Since my earliest of days I remember desperately wanting to look good, smart, funny, cool, etc. in front of others. Because of this, I often find that I grow a deep seated envy in my heart for those around me. It’s not usually an envy that causes me to want something tangible but rather I desperately want them to notice me. My sin is that I want to be recognized more than I want to recognize others.
Recognition is the reason I started this blog. I want people to read it and tell me I have good thoughts. Its also the reason that I haven’t ever been able to keep a blog going past a few days. I don’t want anyone to tell me that what I have to say isn’t worth it. This sin has caused me to do certain things to gain as much recognition as possible but has also lead me only to the point of where that recognition couldn’t turn into massive criticism. In many respects my life to this point has been only a pursuit of recognition for my own sake and in that I’ve failed to take advantage of many opportunities to share the gospel through my words and actions. This sin I confess and through God’s grace I am pursuing sanctification.
The other side of this discussion at small group was: what is God’s answer for this sin? Here is my stab at this.
God’s answer to our sin of self-regard is Jesus. If we understand the gospel we realize that nothing matters outside of the person and work of Jesus Christ. The first part of understanding the gospel is the conviction of our sins. The second part is understanding who Jesus is, what He’s done and is doing, and how He saves us. The third and more difficult part is understanding the grace that God pours out on us through His son each and every moment of our short lives. The way we can get away from worrying about how we are viewed is to focus our hearts and life on Jesus. The gospel in itself focuses only on Jesus. By truly understanding the gospel it is entirely impossible to focus on both yourself and Jesus as the center of who you are. When you “get” the gospel, you get that Jesus was and is who you cannot be. He is your savior because He is worthy and you, nor anyone else is.
Here is the problem with that answer: we are still sinful. Because of our sin, we’ll choose to forget the gospel. We will live our lives as if what Jesus accomplished on the cross doesn’t matter. We’ll think of ourselves more highly than the living God. We’ll put people down who don’t recognize us. We’ll become angry at the ones who we love and who love us when they don’t praise us for doing something extraordinary or even simply something ordinary. This is why we must daily be reminded of the gospel. We must as Paul says in Romans 13:14 “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh”
The good news of the gospel is that we don’t have to try to measure up anymore. Jesus paid it all. Revel in that. Live in that. Glory in that. Take pride in that. Regard that.
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